So this week I decided to write about something that has been perplexing me for quite a while. What does age really mean when it comes to relationships? That being said I question people, what is the ideal age difference, what is too much of an age difference? This has come up in my life lately as a young single lady living in a city full of very eligible bachelors of quite varying ages. I have been dating quite a bit as of recently and this issue continues to come up time and time again.
I recently went out with someone who is 13 years difference in age from me. He was charming, nice, enjoyable and all around wonderful person. However at the end of the night in the back of my mind I know that there is a big elephant in the room (the elephant being our age difference in case you hadn't caught that). So even though I really enjoyed myself had a great time and would love to continue seeing this person is it irresponsible of me being that we are at very different places in our lives?
This forced me to think about this more and in the end the real question this presented me with is, where are all the decent young men? I am sure in writing this I am going to enrage any young men who read this (which I don't actually think there are any so I'm not too worried), so here is my disclaimer if you are a young man who is respectful, polite, charming and and all around gentlemen then you are not the one I am talking about...also if you are single drop me a line we should talk. For the rest of the world where is the man who will pay on the first date no question, who will drive 30 plus minutes to meet you, and who will gladly walk you to your car no matter how out of the way it is to make sure you get there safe and sound?
Now I am not saying that I think all male female gender roles should be kept up forever more, but I do believe a little chivalry is necessary. So is it true that to get these things I must only date men much older than me? Or is there hope that there is the young man out there who was raised properly and knows how to treat a lady?
Many many questions involved in all these issues and maybe there are no right or wrong answers, but for now I am going to continue to ponder these things, continue to date anyone no matter what their age and know that at the end of the day ageism is not a part of my life!!!
Monday, October 18, 2010
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Speed Dating...
So last night I went to speed dating for the first time. This was quite an interesting experience and not just because of the variety of men I met. When I arrived I was informed that there were 20 men and 12 women, so clearly the odds were in my favor. They changed up the rules a little and rather than the men moving from table to table, the women had to. I was not happy about this moving from guy to guy as they sat back and relaxed like Kings. Oh well I decided to make the best of it and drink a little more than I have in a long time, seeing as I am done with the marathon. As I carried my long island from table to table I met quite a few interesting men.
There was the Russian immigrant who was 25 years older than me but kept telling me age doesn't matter and even though I am closer to his sons age than his love knows no age. The mechanic who I decided to spend the 3 minutes we were supposed to be "getting to know each other" asking him if he thought a sound my car was currently making was something I needed to get checked out and if it would be pricey (he told me yes and could be very expensive...balls). A UPS driver who showed me pictures on his phone of all sorts of different dishes he could cook for me, describing in detail how he would do all the preparation in front of me and that we could be something really great. A ripped Physical Therapist who lifted up his shirt so I could see and feel his amazing six pack, which was pretty impressive I must say. There were many more men, some noteworthy others not so much.
By the end of the speed dating I had enjoyed two long islands and was half way through my third. Things do start to get a little hazy at this point but the rest of the evening is too entertaining to not share. My ex, who was also in attendance at this speed dating, and I decided that this was a great time to have a very serious conversation, because when I have had 3 long islands it's always a great time to discuss serious things with me. After this serious conversation dancing sounded like a fabulous idea and a small group of us went to the dance floor and began to get our groove on. Very abruptly as tends to happen with me I decided it was time for the fun to end and for me to go. I left the bar to go sit in the backseat of my car and wait for my friend (whose house I was staying at) to get home from a concert she had gone to. I vaguely recall getting into my car and the next thing I know its 5:15am. I wake up in a full on panic, whose car am in, how did I get here where am I parked, was I abducted. Slowly I looked around oh this car has a bike rack in it, I have a bike rack in my car I think to myself. Hmm this car has a parking pass on it, my car has parking passes as well. After about 5 minutes of very critical thinking I am able to deduct that yes I am in fact in my car. I also as I am looking around notice that someone has puked all over the backseat of my car and all over the floor. At this point I call my friend and walk the 20 feet to her front door so she can let me in to sleep.
All in all a rather exciting and eventful night, while today is very unpleasant and will be spent on the couch it was almost worth it to meet a bunch of new people, celebrate the end of my marathon training and of course another chapter for the memoirs!!!
There was the Russian immigrant who was 25 years older than me but kept telling me age doesn't matter and even though I am closer to his sons age than his love knows no age. The mechanic who I decided to spend the 3 minutes we were supposed to be "getting to know each other" asking him if he thought a sound my car was currently making was something I needed to get checked out and if it would be pricey (he told me yes and could be very expensive...balls). A UPS driver who showed me pictures on his phone of all sorts of different dishes he could cook for me, describing in detail how he would do all the preparation in front of me and that we could be something really great. A ripped Physical Therapist who lifted up his shirt so I could see and feel his amazing six pack, which was pretty impressive I must say. There were many more men, some noteworthy others not so much.
By the end of the speed dating I had enjoyed two long islands and was half way through my third. Things do start to get a little hazy at this point but the rest of the evening is too entertaining to not share. My ex, who was also in attendance at this speed dating, and I decided that this was a great time to have a very serious conversation, because when I have had 3 long islands it's always a great time to discuss serious things with me. After this serious conversation dancing sounded like a fabulous idea and a small group of us went to the dance floor and began to get our groove on. Very abruptly as tends to happen with me I decided it was time for the fun to end and for me to go. I left the bar to go sit in the backseat of my car and wait for my friend (whose house I was staying at) to get home from a concert she had gone to. I vaguely recall getting into my car and the next thing I know its 5:15am. I wake up in a full on panic, whose car am in, how did I get here where am I parked, was I abducted. Slowly I looked around oh this car has a bike rack in it, I have a bike rack in my car I think to myself. Hmm this car has a parking pass on it, my car has parking passes as well. After about 5 minutes of very critical thinking I am able to deduct that yes I am in fact in my car. I also as I am looking around notice that someone has puked all over the backseat of my car and all over the floor. At this point I call my friend and walk the 20 feet to her front door so she can let me in to sleep.
All in all a rather exciting and eventful night, while today is very unpleasant and will be spent on the couch it was almost worth it to meet a bunch of new people, celebrate the end of my marathon training and of course another chapter for the memoirs!!!
Monday, October 4, 2010
My Marathon (The day I thought death was upon me)
As many of you know this past Sunday October 3rd I participated in the Milwaukee Lake front's annual Marathon. This has been something I have been preparing and training for since May. As the weekend neared I didn't have an overwhelming sense of nervousness or fear that some would anticipate, I have since decided this was due to complete and utter denial. However on the eve of this marathon as my cousin, uncle and I gathered at my parents home to eat spaghetti and prepare for the event denial seemed to become a thing of the past and complete fear began to set in.
My uncle being the paternal type that he is decided to help calm my nerves by showing me some "inspirational" YouTube videos. I sat down expecting to see people crossing the finish line with smiles on their faces and tears in their eyes at the overwhelming feat they had just accomplished. I quickly realized these were not the type of videos my uncle had in mind. The first one entitled women collapses 20 yds from finish showed the details of what would happen if your legs gave out right before the finish. Showing me video after video of women collapsing then crawling through the finish to be greeted by endless numbers of emergency medical personal my uncle's idea of inspirational I came to believe is slightly different from mine.
We then left my parents house and headed up to the hotel we would be staying at that night approximately 26.2 miles north of the city. As we drove and drove and drove I began to realize that 26.2 miles is a long way in a car, so how was I going to run that in the morning!!! I crawled into bed that night with my uncles words in my head "remember Morgan if you collapse at the finish remember to crawl!!" wondering if that really was my fate.
When morning finally came and I got dressed ate breakfast and headed over to the start line denial began to settle in once again, this isn't anything major just going for a little run I told myself, and for the first 10 - 15 miles that's exactly how it felt, just like any other run. Only a few bumps along those first 15 miles, forgetting to start my watch and ipod at the start, spilling water all over my face and up my nose at mile 3, dropping my ipod at mile 7, 10 and 12, and losing my gum at mile 7 (still not quite sure where it went and hope it didn't end up on somebodies back).
However, at mile 17 I began repeating a mantra over and over in my head, "9 miles you can do 9 miles you've done this how many times before" by mile 17 and a half that mantra changed into lets take it 2 miles at a time, just 2 miles at a time get to 20, then 22.... A good friend of mine had told me when it starts to hurt just keep smiling, so like the Cheshire cat in Alice in Wonderland I plastered a smile on and kept trotting along.
Around mile 19 the relay exchange took place and those people who were smart enough to complete the marathon in a relay switched with their last leg and I secretly cursed each and every one of them for getting to be done. The miles became longer and longer after that and all I could think was that the finish had to be getting closer. Pain radiated down both my legs and I had to remind myself over and over again that I voluntarily signed up for this, that when it was all done I would be glad I did it, this wasn't somebody torturing me it was me torturing me. Crossing mile 22 and knowing I could run home to my parents house in less than half a mile rather than continuing became a really great idea.
Finally I crested the large hill at mile 23 looked down at the lake in front of me and realized I was going to do this, I was going to finish a marathon. Mile 25 and a half, less than a mile to go and all I wanted to do was stop I rounded a bend and my aunt popped out scaring me and giving me the last boost of adrenaline needed yelling "you're almost there, this is it!!", I sprinted down the chute crossed the finish line and thanked the lord that this thing was over, smiling the entire way.
While I can't say I'm about to sign up for another marathon tomorrow or ever for that matter i must confess that it wasn't nearly as bad as I had anticipated. In the end I was glad I got to accomplish it and become a member of a very elite club, now able to refer to myself as a Marathon Runner.
My uncle being the paternal type that he is decided to help calm my nerves by showing me some "inspirational" YouTube videos. I sat down expecting to see people crossing the finish line with smiles on their faces and tears in their eyes at the overwhelming feat they had just accomplished. I quickly realized these were not the type of videos my uncle had in mind. The first one entitled women collapses 20 yds from finish showed the details of what would happen if your legs gave out right before the finish. Showing me video after video of women collapsing then crawling through the finish to be greeted by endless numbers of emergency medical personal my uncle's idea of inspirational I came to believe is slightly different from mine.
We then left my parents house and headed up to the hotel we would be staying at that night approximately 26.2 miles north of the city. As we drove and drove and drove I began to realize that 26.2 miles is a long way in a car, so how was I going to run that in the morning!!! I crawled into bed that night with my uncles words in my head "remember Morgan if you collapse at the finish remember to crawl!!" wondering if that really was my fate.
When morning finally came and I got dressed ate breakfast and headed over to the start line denial began to settle in once again, this isn't anything major just going for a little run I told myself, and for the first 10 - 15 miles that's exactly how it felt, just like any other run. Only a few bumps along those first 15 miles, forgetting to start my watch and ipod at the start, spilling water all over my face and up my nose at mile 3, dropping my ipod at mile 7, 10 and 12, and losing my gum at mile 7 (still not quite sure where it went and hope it didn't end up on somebodies back).
However, at mile 17 I began repeating a mantra over and over in my head, "9 miles you can do 9 miles you've done this how many times before" by mile 17 and a half that mantra changed into lets take it 2 miles at a time, just 2 miles at a time get to 20, then 22.... A good friend of mine had told me when it starts to hurt just keep smiling, so like the Cheshire cat in Alice in Wonderland I plastered a smile on and kept trotting along.
Around mile 19 the relay exchange took place and those people who were smart enough to complete the marathon in a relay switched with their last leg and I secretly cursed each and every one of them for getting to be done. The miles became longer and longer after that and all I could think was that the finish had to be getting closer. Pain radiated down both my legs and I had to remind myself over and over again that I voluntarily signed up for this, that when it was all done I would be glad I did it, this wasn't somebody torturing me it was me torturing me. Crossing mile 22 and knowing I could run home to my parents house in less than half a mile rather than continuing became a really great idea.
Finally I crested the large hill at mile 23 looked down at the lake in front of me and realized I was going to do this, I was going to finish a marathon. Mile 25 and a half, less than a mile to go and all I wanted to do was stop I rounded a bend and my aunt popped out scaring me and giving me the last boost of adrenaline needed yelling "you're almost there, this is it!!", I sprinted down the chute crossed the finish line and thanked the lord that this thing was over, smiling the entire way.
While I can't say I'm about to sign up for another marathon tomorrow or ever for that matter i must confess that it wasn't nearly as bad as I had anticipated. In the end I was glad I got to accomplish it and become a member of a very elite club, now able to refer to myself as a Marathon Runner.
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